Skipping Down the Slippery Side of the Slope: One Day at a Time
Julieanna Blackwell, Community Contributor
Friday, September 3, 2010
Even if I’m skipping down hill, I pride myself on being up on the times: I try to be worldly. I’m up on what is popular in music along with literature and art. I have an ear to politics here and abroad. I try to stay in pace with trends, theology, and popular culture. Worldly. Then I went to the dentist.
Sinking deeper into the waiting room couch, I attached the stack of magazines. Many of the crinkled and dog-eared magazines must have been fixtures in the office forever; the best coupons were already torn out, and several covers barely hung from the staples.
There was the usual doctor office fare such as medical journals touting good health, how to follow a better diet, and how to achieve a brighter smile. I sifted through the array of sport publications (I know nothing about sports). There was one parenting magazine (which I read), and a couple of decorating publications, including one from Christmas. Finally, I found a celebrity tabloid on the bottom of the stack.
Leafing through the magazine, I quickly noted that most of the ads looked like still photographs from the commercials on television the night before (note, I was not in command of the remote). I read about a blond starlet who divorced her handsome leading man husband only to marry a fading rock star. I zipped past pages filled with pictures of red carpet premiers of movies I don’t plan on seeing until they are on Netflix. Most of the magazine offered snippets of the lives of celebrities I didn’t recognize. I hadn’t the foggiest idea of who these people were, or what they achieved (except a brighter smile), or what they did to get into this type of publication. At the end was a ad for listing the side effects for medication I couldn’t pronounce.
On the other end of the couch, I spotted an open glossy magazine that someone neglected to put back on the stack. Nonchalantly, I leaned across the couch and snagged it with the tips of my fingers dragging it closer.
It was open to an article about Valerie Bertinelli — she looks good. She is a celebrity I know something about (further, she is a starlet who divorced the faded rock star right out the gate). I read about her victory over weight loss, I learned of her nuptials, completing a marathon, and her upcoming birthday. Wait a minute! 50! Barbara Cooper is 50 years old! After catching my breath, I turned the page.
I read a nice article about the Andy Griffith Show. Yep, I remember that show; I loved that program (even in black and white, too). The next page of this fantastic magazine offered tips on growing an herb garden (an interest of mine). What a great magazine! I know this stuff. I scanned a feature on how being cheap is the new rich, something I’m well aware of (to the chagrin of my daughter). And, even though someone had already started the crossword puzzle, no one had ripped out the Art of Living section that highlighted beer (a well-represented beverage in our fridge).
Finally, they called my name and just before putting the magazine back on the stack, I had to know the title of this great publication…AARP!!!
I didn’t need any novocaine.