This is a new installment of my trek down hill. The Editor-in-Chief of 805Lit asked me to write the Letter-From-The-Editor for our Teen Issue. Before I sat down to pen my letter, I kept a list of the funny running comments between me and my sixteen daughter. Though the list was edited out from the issue, I thought it was funny enough to included here on the SLOPE. I hope you enjoy this new installment....
Slipping Down the Slipper Side of the Slope: Teenager vs Toddler.
Things a mom will say to a teenager:
Close the door.
Please, empty the dishwasher.
They didn’t have calculus when I was young.
But, I don’t understand the meme.
Where did all this laundry come from?
Which Kaitlyn?
I thought the name was Kylo Ren, what’s the Emo part?
Can you show me how to fix my phone?
Don’t forget to empty the dishwasher.
How much are the concert tickets?
How much is a year book?
How much are those boots?
How much is Prom?
Turn that down.
Hurry, call my phone, I don’t know where I put it.
Where are your retainers?
No, you are not driving to Ft. Lauderdale.
Who has green hair?
You want green hair!
Why is this app not working?
Sorry, but the combat boots just don’t make the dress.
You have lots of friends, I don’t have friends.
Um, excuse me, um, dishwasher.
Back at it with the old ripped Vans, hum?
See, I know a meme or two.
I don’t have a Tumbler. A Tervis tumbler, yes, but not a Tumbler.
I’m supposed to sign what?
What time is practice?
Gas money?
What?
Since when did you stop eating peanut butter?
Sure, I’m happy to accept the publishing terms to submit your work to a literary magazine.
There is a beauty to parenting a teenager just as it takes a spectacular amount of endurance to parent a toddler; not that they’re the same creature. However, a teenager’s first steps into adulthood are no different than when a three year old lets go of their parent’s hand for the first time and runs to the playground. It is amazing, no matter what age they always double check over their shoulder for you as they run further away. If you will allow me to make the following comparison, where as toddlerhood is adventurous, the teenage years are sublime.
Close the door.
Please, empty the dishwasher.
They didn’t have calculus when I was young.
But, I don’t understand the meme.
Where did all this laundry come from?
Which Kaitlyn?
I thought the name was Kylo Ren, what’s the Emo part?
Can you show me how to fix my phone?
Don’t forget to empty the dishwasher.
How much are the concert tickets?
How much is a year book?
How much are those boots?
How much is Prom?
Turn that down.
Hurry, call my phone, I don’t know where I put it.
Where are your retainers?
No, you are not driving to Ft. Lauderdale.
Who has green hair?
You want green hair!
Why is this app not working?
Sorry, but the combat boots just don’t make the dress.
You have lots of friends, I don’t have friends.
Um, excuse me, um, dishwasher.
Back at it with the old ripped Vans, hum?
See, I know a meme or two.
I don’t have a Tumbler. A Tervis tumbler, yes, but not a Tumbler.
I’m supposed to sign what?
What time is practice?
Gas money?
What?
Since when did you stop eating peanut butter?
Sure, I’m happy to accept the publishing terms to submit your work to a literary magazine.
There is a beauty to parenting a teenager just as it takes a spectacular amount of endurance to parent a toddler; not that they’re the same creature. However, a teenager’s first steps into adulthood are no different than when a three year old lets go of their parent’s hand for the first time and runs to the playground. It is amazing, no matter what age they always double check over their shoulder for you as they run further away. If you will allow me to make the following comparison, where as toddlerhood is adventurous, the teenage years are sublime.
